Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I will be naked everywhere
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
