speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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