some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
