think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
