just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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