I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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