I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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