God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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