Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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