Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
