How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize