I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
