Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
