he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
