we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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