is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
