i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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