So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
