I want to walk on stilts...naked
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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