i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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