i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
