A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
