i think my mom watched the whole time
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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