i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
