What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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