Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
