I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize