We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
