I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
