You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize