The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
