im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
