That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
is it fun? or sober?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
