i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
