thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
