He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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