A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize