I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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