Can Purell be used as lube?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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