Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
