you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
