I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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