I got chris browned last night
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
