Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize