Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
