It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
