This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
