there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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