i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
