i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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