I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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