you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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