You can't motorboat a personality
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
