I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
