my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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