I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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